Thursday, May 26, 2011


Feeling a little down today. Not sure why. The day seems to be dragging by slowly. It is only about 2pm. I guess I didn't have many plans for today and I am little tired or am I relaxed? I don't know.

Ben finished up all his work for his 5th grade year. Allen is mostly finished except for math (we will have "math camp" this summer to get him caught up). Charlie finished kindergarten several months ago really. Not sure if he will do any 1st grade work next year or if he will basically be doing all 2nd grade. The third child, mine anyway, seems to learn so fast. Faster than I want him to sometimes. So now I am wondering what do I do with all this time that lay in front of me? Well, the next two months anyway.

The boys are so independent now that I am feeling a bit lonely and unsure of what to do with my time. I know I will find many things to do. I want to make sure I spend special time with each of them before I get busy doing other things. But right now I find myself just wanting to have some fun and stop planning. Yet I know plans still have to be made. There are lots of fun things to be done but I just prefer to do them with my husband too. I am missing him alot today even though he was here this morning and I'll see him in a couple of hours.

I've got to get myself thinking positive. Down in the dumps is not a fun place to be. So, what do I have to be thankful for today? Healthy children, hard working husband, generous family members, faithful friends, forgiveness, mercy, grace, love. Cool breezes through my windows, shelter, chickens, birds chirping all day long. Tooth healing, clothes to wash, food to cook. That's better! Work to do, body to work, things to learn, patience in growing.

I read Proverbs 14:1 today about a wise woman building up her house. I want to be that wise woman. I want to build up. I want to serve and minister to my family and work with my hands to build them up for Godly purposes. I don't want lack of good sense to tear down my house. My children and husband are a blessing from the Lord. They are given to me to build up and love. I need to use good sense to do what I ought right now. I ought to get up and do something instead of staying in the dumps. And I guess I already have for I feel much better having refocused my mind to gratefulness for my blessings and to a mission to build up my house.

No more dumps here.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Hello! Today is a day of joy and thanksgiving! Did you know that? Every day is when you are a child of the King!

I had my #30 molar removed yesterday. I am amazed and pleased to say I have had very little pain. Praise God for this! I have been tired most of the day but I can handle that much better. My sweet children have loved me by staying quiet all afternoon so I could nap, fixing lunch and snacks for themselves, playing together this morning. Thank you Lord for my children. I have spent quite a bit of time online trying to figure out what this white stuff is that is forming in my socket. Actually, I called the dentist this morning because I thought I had scrambled egg stuck in there. They said leave it alone. So I have. But I do keep looking at it anyway and some white stuff is on the other side of the socket now. From what I can surmise after looking around online, the white stuff is part of the healing process (maybe part of the clot) and should not cause a problem. If I have any swelling or pain, I will call the dentist. If I see him at Bible study tonight, I will probably ask about it. Otherwise, I will do my best to sit tight and release my worries to my Father.

I don't enjoy sitting around/ sleeping all day when I am tired. I feel kind of lonely and a little depressed. I like to be up and doing things or at least planning or thinking. But when I don't even want to think I know it is time to let my body have a rest. So I feel a little like I've lost a day.

The question I need to ask myself is: Did I glorify God today? I think so. I did what my body needed. I was loving and kind to my children. I spent some of my time trying to be a good steward by getting better deals on curriculum. I prayed for others. I let Tasha borrow my bike. I started my day in God's word. I hope I was pleasing to my Lord. I know there are things I did that were not pleasing, like too much time searching/ worrying about the white stuff in my tooth socket. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness and please increase my faith and trust more tomorrow!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

For Me

Not really sure I want to post my thoughts to the general public so I guess I won't advertise that I am writing again. If you are reading this, please don't bother leaving a comment. I don't think I'll be checking for them. And I don't really think anyone will be reading. I am such a perfectionist that it makes me not want to write at all. But here I go anyway because it is what I need to do and because it is something I want to teach my children to do.

I have started a bible study/ book club group based on good morning girls website about the Ministry of Motherhood. I am enjoying it so far though not doing a good job of spending daily time in the word. I think three out of five is what I did this week. It is not that I don't talk with my Father but I don't seem to consistently set aside time with Him each day. I cherish those times which is why I often wonder why I don't do it more. That is because there are people in my life and work to do. Three precious boys and one man, all who want and need my attention as well. Then there is the tired factor that creeps in when I have spent all my attention on caring for others and forgot to care for myself as I needed to. I often get frustrated that on weeks like this when I am serving others I seem to crash and then have a lull in serving because I am so tired. I would love to keep up the pace. I will ask Father for endurance and for a memory to care for myself as I need. Tiredness is something that I think can be changed and work on. This is what leads me to my new study.

I have really got to be abiding in God. He is the source of all power. If I want to live to please him I must be a part of Him, never separating from Him. I need constant reminders. I want God to abide in me so I must abide in Him. Then I will have a steady reminder. Seeking the kingdom of God first must be my goal, my life. I want this. I want to make the changes in my life necessary to help me do better with this.